Once you have this figured out, your journey will be smoother. Meditation tends to be a good way, to excercise yourself, to release this tension; I haven't mentionned meditation on this blog for a while but I do apply it to my life every single day. At the end of the day, you need to be able to do a short recap of your strongest emotions; embracing the good ones, understanding the bads.
One doesn't have to be sitting ib the lotus position with an absolute clear mind. As I already mentionned, part of my family is from the Alps and if there is one place on earth that I would consider as close to nothingness, it is to be in the middle of the snow, on a mountain, the only noises being the ones of your body gliding ever so lightly on it.
I normally lie down to do so. My back aches quite a little too much for me to be comfortable while being sitted. Sometimes, to achieve the zen and calm attitude, a few minutes are suffissant and sitting wouldn't be anissue. However, when it goes on for longer than 10 minutes, it is better not to be distracted by your outer shell.
Once the recapitulation is done and that I am at peace with myself and my passions then we are back on track for a good life and a good present.